The Terminal

I have realized now the loneliest feeling in the world: traveling alone in an airport. This feeling does not hit really until just after a holiday or time away with a significant other. For two weeks in England, I was lucky enough to go on dates and mini-trips with Lee and we were inseparable. It was a truly lovely time and being back in England made it all the better.
But, departing on my own to the train, buses, and airplane back to Ireland was heart wrenching. Traveling alone is extremely quiet. The only person to talk to is yourself and you have to keep that conversation in your head or you will definitely be lonely, but for other reasons. So, for hours and hours, the only person to keep you company is yourself and all the while, you are longing to be back with your significant other or in your new destination. No one really wants to be in an airport, do they? The people traveling are either leaving something good behind or they are going somewhere wonderful…the airport is just the middle-man.
It is a good thing that the people in Europe rarely ask, ‘how are you doing?’ because if someone would have actually shown concern, I probably would have started crying. That’s all it would have taken: one speck of consideration—genuine or otherwise.
Eating alone is even worse right after leaving a loved-one behind especially when the time until the next meeting is indefinite. The day before, enjoying a meal together was done without a second-thought and life was fun and fancy free with a walk along the riverside after dinner. Then, the next day suddenly everything is silent and a ‘table for one’ is not embarrassing or unique, but rather a challenge to get through an entire plate of food without sobbing in it. One glance at the chair across from you will send you over the edge, so the entire meal is spent avoiding eye contact with that black abyss. And in those moments of weakness, evade even biting your food because you will not taste anything for the big knot in your throat where despair is welling-up. A low-lit restaurant is key so that if your eyes get red with sadness, the shadows will disguise any signs of weary.
The goal of getting through the airport is to get through it. That’s all. I made it through, but I have decided that I will limit any independent, single-lady (Beyoncé) traveling in the future.