Rescue 999

Since I have not found much to do in Kenmare, I decided to create my own adventure--just like those really handy choose-your-own-adventure books that fulfill the schizophrenic in all of us. In this case though, there was really one outcome, I just did not have the option of going back 15 pages and safely escaping the absurdity that awaited me.
Last Saturday, I decided that I would walk to Moll's Gap 10 kilometers out of Kenmare. It was a beautiful day with no clouds in the sky and warm sunshine on my shoulders...and it made me happy. Going on long walks is not just a line I can put in a personal ad, but it is actually something that brings me clarity.
Well, two hours later, I made it to the gap. Over hill and dale I walked and past angry, snobby sheep. This is not an exaggeration. The sheep wait until you get close enough to take a good photograph of them and then they turn around, "baa" to their friends, and they all walk away. Rude.
At the gap, I sat on the edge of a cliff and ate Doritos while drinking lemonade that I packed. Pondering while gazing over Irish countryside: check. Just as I was getting ready to turn back to Kenmare, choose-your-own-adventure twist number 1...
A man stopped his car and asked if I was enjoying the view. Immediately my mind flashed to a scene from a Lifetime movie and I made an escape plan to run to safety. A few meters up the road, there was a shop and cafe and there were people outside eating, so I could have yelled for help, if need be. I told him that I thought it was a nice day and then packed my 'picnic' into my knapsack. He then proceeded to pull his car over to my side of the road and told me he was on his way to Bantry for a gig. For the next hour, this man named Kevin Foley played songs on his guitar at Moll's Gap and told me stories of his life. I thought the situation was bizarre and really just wanted to be going on my way. Anyway, it happened and I'm fine.
Choose-your-own-adventure 2...
I walked to that cafe and shop at the top of Moll's Gap to see what tourist merchandise I could pass up. Then, after about ten minutes inside, a group of American kids came walking in! Apparently, they were touring the U.K. and Ireland singing in churches as part of their spring break. The singers were from California--"the Bay Area"--and their faces were fresh off the scenes of The Hills or Laguna Beach. It was nice to chat with fellow Americans who were very friendly and with whom I could share some travel stories. At last, we bid adieu and went our separate ways.
Choose-your-own-adventure 3...
Still walking, I headed back down the mountain toward Kenmare and the weather was still bright, sunny, and warm--very unusual for Ireland. Not far from the shop, a sheep had escaped from the fence and was marching on the street! Sheep are much larger when they're on your side of the fence, let me tell you. I was afraid that the sheep would think that I was its enemy and ram me with its curly horns. (At this point, the sheep was choosing my adventure and I was worried I wouldn't make it to the end of the book.) I also started worrying for its life because following its path inside the fence was a little baby lamb--that sheep was some lamb's mother. So, I had to do something no matter how badly I was scared that I would be chased down the mountain by that sheep. A car came racing up the road and I warned it of the sheep with arms above my head, and that worked that time. But this wasn't enough. I was worried that the little lamb would either see its mother get hit by a car or a car would swerve to miss the sheep and cause a wreck. What else could I do but call 999? So, I did. "Hi. I'm walking from Moll's Gap to Kenmare down the mountain and I just wanted to let you know that there is a sheep in the road. I just think that someone should tell the farmer to put the sheep back in the fence because I don't want the sheep to get killed or anybody to get in a car wreck trying to avoid it." The guards (policemen) were thankfully not perturbed with my efforts and said that they would check on it, but also that it is a frequent occurrence.
For the most part, that was the end of my adventurous day. I looked for and found adventure in one of the quietest towns in Ireland so I feel like I accomplished something. Also, I got a sunburn in Ireland--who would've thought?
Philosophical riddle: If a girl sings while walking down a mountain and no one is around to hear her, does she make a sound?
No one could hear me, so it doesn't count. But, I sure did a rousing rendition of a Disney medley and Whitney Houston songs. I also realized that I do not know all of the words to any song other than Christmas songs if I don't have the music to sing along. This is weird, isn't it? We sing Christmas songs for less than one month of the year, but the songs are easiest to remember.